One and one and two are three
If you adhere to Irish logic
That's just one of the many jokes of which
the Irish are the topic
You can talk about the luck of but in
truth there's not a lot
So we have this reputation of being
as thick two short planks
And although George Bernard Shaw
was Irish he's an Englishman
No we don't live in houses that are
otherwise known as bars
Yes we do have other transport
besides donkeys and carts
Go to Dublin day or night
And see for yourself there's
not a bog in sight
In America the joke about the irishman
would die
There for some peculiar season it's
the polish they decry
Bet in sweden it's norwegians and in
norway it's the danes
And it's a fallacy to think that irish
people drink the most
when in njoy germany alone their beer
consumption unapproached
As for britian far from being sober
they would enjoy thier drink
But to call an enghlishman a drunk
would be an awful thing
What you need todo for that
is a chap named pat and the luck of the irish
Kiss the blarney stone but get down on your back to do it
Okay on the surface I admit it does seem rather stupid
But you mustn't judge a book by all accounts
But by what's underneath it's
Cover up your daughters what they don't see they won't miss
Remember contraception is despair but ignorance is bliss
The church will tell you what you should and what you
shouldn't do is argue with it
Shergar's body been exhumed by irish terrorists today
If the ransom isn't paid out then his life may not be saved
No we don't live in houses that are
otherwise known as bars
Yes we do have other transport
besides donkeys and carts
Go to Dublin day or night
And see for yourself there's
not a bog in sight
The luck of the irsh
Kiss the blarney stone but get down on your back to do it
Okay on the surface I admit it does seem rather stupid
But you mustn't judge a book by all accounts
But by what's underneath it's
Cover up your daughters what they don't see they won't miss
Remember contraception is despair but ignorance is bliss
The church will tell you what you should and what you
shouldn't do is argue with it
You tell me you love
and then you don't
love me
Well I don't care
You say that you need me
and you deceive me
Well I don't care maybe you're everything
I'll ever need
Maybe I'll hate myself after you leave
But now I swear
I don't care
You say that you want
to and then you don't want to
Well I don't care
You think that its heaven
but only till seven
Well I don't care
After a year in which I
would have leapt
Off a mountain to save
you from death
Now I swear I don't care
You're putting it
about that got me sussed
You can do what ever
you want to plus
I would never leave
you and that's the truth
But only if the never in it's removed
You tell me its over
until it ain't over
Well I don't care
You stay on the phone
make it into your home
Well I don't care
Yesterday you were
the key to my life
Yesterday if you had gone
I'd have died But now I swear
I don't care
Even if you treated
me with contempt
I would as a patient get back my strength
Even if you wanted to the knot
I would say the best shot
You tell me you love me and
then you don't love me
Well I don't care
You're putting me down
when I' m out on the town
Well I don't care
Go to your shrink let him
help you decide
Don't look at me with that
look in your eye
Cos now I swear
Now I declare
Now beware
I don't care
I don't believe you'd let me down
I don't believe you'd go
But lately you're avoided me
If something's wrong You know
The least you should do
Is tell me what you
Think's wrong and we'll work it out
If you don't I'm about
To be faced with a problem only you
Know how to explain
Although I've tried a hundred times
Even looked inside my brain
Yet all I could see
Was that you and me
Were getting along just fine
Think I'm about to be binded and thrown
Into a room wallpapered with gloom
And furnished with memories I
No longer believe in
cause someone's deceiving me
I won't say who
I don't have to
Yet all I could see
Was that you and me
Were getting along just fine
Think I'm about to be binded and thrown
Into a room wallpapered with gloom
And furnished with memories I
No longer believe in
cause someone's deceiving me
I won't say who
I don't have to
I don't believe you'd let me down
I don't believe you'd go
But lately you're avoided me
If something's wrong You know
The least you should do
Is tell me what you
Think's wrong and we'll work it out
If you don't I'm about
God speed on your journey overseas
Into the path of the sun
And while you're away spare a thought for me
Cause I'll be the lonely one
You say that my leaving doesn't mean
We've been together too long
What it does mean however is till
Your here
I'll be the lonely one
Come away with me won't you
I can hear A voice in the distance yell
And when I look up to see if it
Could be you
I see that it's only myself
I'll be the lonely one
Some say that it's easy to forget
The further it is that you run
What I'd like to say is when your not here
I'll be the lonely one
I'll be the lonely one
And I won't try and reach you
there's no point
you never return my call
If I do leave a message I guarantee
It won't be acknowledged at all
God speed on your journey overseas
Into the path of the sun
And while you're away
Spare a thought for me
Cause I'll be the lonely one
Yes, I'll be the lonely one
Met me a girl the other week
Long blonde hair lips you could eat
She thanked me for the drinks I bought
And said the train that she ought to have caught
Had probably left
I heard a voice inside me
Say You lucky bugger
Break a leg
All my life I've tried to avert
Incidents where, I could be hurt
At school they taught me right from wrong
No harm in being a weakling as long
as long as you use your head
Yet on the stage if you want to succeed
The thing to do is
break a leg
Why not an arm
Why Not a toe
Why only one when one
as you know
Is not quite complete
To do that you need
One more
Upon my word you take it from me
On my winter hols I love to ski
But rather than go down too fast
And end up with my face alas
Covered in egg
I do as my instructor says
Get on that piste and break a leg
Why not an arm not a chin
What's so clever about breaking
your leg so to speak how would your feet
then grow
I went to do the other night
Could hardly drink cause I had to drive
And just as I was about to leave
A chap got up and spoke to me
Here's what he said
I hear your leaving that's a shame
Its good to see you glad you came
Before you go from all of us here
A safe journey home now
Break a leg
When words fail you
don't say why
say Ireland
say Ireland
and I'll tell you why
When bombs dismay you
don't just cry
cry Ireland
cry Ireland
cry Ireland
cry Ireland
and I'll tell you why
[How much time have you got?]
Where are my Irish roots
where did I get those boots
why do I not like suits and ties
and why so shy in front of people
It's on top of a steeple that I belong
far from the maddening crowd
as far as I am allowed
far from the maddening crowd
as far as I am allowed
far from the maddening crowd
as far as I am allowed
and the crack was in the ceiling
Say Ireland...(Ireland)...Say..(Ireland)
When words fail you
don't say why
say Ireland say Ireland
Well I've been trying to make a living
working eight hours a day
But despite the overtime
what I take home is
a disgrace
Still old con-lab-lib still
Keeps coming round
Looking for support
I've got a car that doesn't go
A baby that won't stop crying
And a wife that works so hard
She can't afford a lie-in
Still old con-lab-lib keeps coming round
Look for support
Who the hell does he think he is
Telling us the way that we should live
While he's out dining A La Carte
We're back to war like
Back to war like rationing parts
He says he doesn't really care if we are
for against him
Cause he knows in the long run
We are bound to elect him
Still old con-lab-lib keeps coming round
looking for support
I've never seen anybody that could lie with
Such ease
I call it second nature
He calls it his policies
And as for his movements
As your expect
He's extremely moderate right where he is left
Who the hell does he think he is
Telling us the way that we should live
While he's out dining A La Carte
We're back to war like
Back to war like rationing parts
Well I've been trying to make a living
working eight hours a day
But despite the overtime
what I take home is a disgrace
Still old con-lab-lib still
Keeps coming round
Looking for support