Hey little baby you act like I'm crazy
Walking around in my sleep
Well if I knew it why on earth would I do it
I've other appointments to keep
In my sleep
Spare me the drama you slipped on a banana
After you'd eaten the skin
How could you do it are you really that stupid
Knowing that there was a bin you could put it in
Of course being a Monday would be the one day
Trains are delayed by the score
And it never rains but it pours
Mine's not due for a week
Would you believe it our Adam and Eve skit
Didn't go quite as we'd planned
Leaves we were using both of our choosing
Fell off and so we got banned
Could have used a hand
Heart has been broken credit card stolen
Off-licence closing its doors
And it never rains but it pours
Why I've no idea
But if you want romance
Then here's a good tip leave all expletives behind
And as for the men maybe they should try
Giving flowers from time to time
Call me a loser cos I didn't choose her
Call me a fool if you like
Sure she was pretty but when she said hit me
That kind of gave me a fright
As well it might
A word from Head Office there, being no profits
We have to show you the door
And it never rains but it pours
Rents just been increased
If only the good days outnumbered the bad
If only the bad died young
In an ideal world we would still disagree
But doing so would be fun
Smile for the camera the one that can't stand ya
You know the one that I mean
Where every picture looks like a mixture
Of hideous crass and obscene
But never lean
Afloat on a big lake boat hits a big wave
After which you lose the oars
And it never rains but it pours
Now it's started to leak
I love those great big blue eyes
I love those laughter lines
Round about where an ill wind blows
That's where for me it shines
And I have no inhibitions
That I wish to, put on
If I did what would I inhibit
A painting I've never done
And such is life as Ned once said
However let's be clear
If you think that a noose round my neck
Makes a happy man of me
You're barking up the wrong tree
And I hare those cold damp mornings
Despite a good night's sleep
Stepping out when it's still not light
Feels like I should retreat
And as for those glamour model types
Who when they strut their stuff
Look about as dressed as a naked chef
Making his powder puff
And while we're on the subject
Where in God's name have you been
I've been waiting around for hours
If you think it's good for me
You're backing up the wrong tree
And to the idiots who say for tusks
Killing elephants is not unjust
Don't you wish a herd would come along
and overrule them
Can't for the life of me see
How marksmen armed with guns
Think a man with a table leg
As threatening to either one
And yet as marksmen, surely
Assuming as I've said
That there is some doubt
They must take him out
Who do it in the head?
And such is life as Ned once said
However let's be clear
If barking mad's where you think I'm from
Take a little tip from me
You're barking up the wrong tree
I've never known a girl lovelier than you
If I did I would be lying and that I Wouldn't do
Come on have fun make my day tonight
Nothing really matters when you are in love
It's the only institution I'm not weary of
Don't be lonely make my day tonight
I know it, isn't easy to find romance
Know it can indeed, seem like you've no chance
When the land beneath you feels like no man's
Don't give up just persevere
Nothing in this world is ever certain
When your only love goes for a burton
Don't be too despondent just think positively
I've never known a girl lovelier than you
If I did I would be lying and that I wouldn't do
Come on have fun make my day
Don't be lonely make my day
I'm sure that you'll make my day tonight
I know it isn't easy to find romance
Know it can indeed seem like you're no chance
When the land beneath you feels like no mans
Don't give up just preserve
Nothing in this world is ever certain
When you're only love goes for a burton
Don't be too despondent there's more fish in the sea
I've never known a girl lovelier than you
If I did I would be lying and that I wouldn't do
Come on have fun make my day
Don't be lonely make my day
I'm sure that you'll make my day tonight
Touch my face find a place
That only you can see
You don't need an appliance
It isn't rocket science
God forbid that it ever
Should be
Read my lips there's no risks
Attached to what we do
It may be that at times
I'm way our of line
God forbid that meant I could
Lose you
Only for a second have I ever felt
Doubts about your love for me
Only for a second yet it seemed like an eternity
Take my hand make it land
Somewhere about your knee
Whatever's going on we're doing
nothing wrong
God forbid to think that
We could be
Falling out of love is something to behold
Even when it's not too steep
You can be as hurt as someone say falling
A thousand feet
Tell you what what you've got
Is all I'll ever need
It may not pay the rent
It being heaven sent
God forbid that that's all
You meant to me
I'll tell you what you want to hear
Tell me where I'd like to go
Ask me where the Summer went
That way maybe I don't know
And while my life's not in a rut
Every weekend I take flight
Given that today's the day
Presumably tonight's must be the night
Accustomed though I am
To crying in the rain
What's the point of counting sheep
When by the time you get
To ten or twelve you're asleep
You are my love you are my life
It's emblazoned on my chest
Every time we have a row
I just keep it covered with a vest
You ask if I am anxious
How this will pan out
Let's just say until it's foiled
Answer does I fear
Lie nowhere near the soil
And so the conversation
With the flying plates begin
You see a pattern now emerging
On a plate shell fling
It doesn't matter where it goes
As long as it goes fast
You recognize your favourite
China cup as it goes past
And was the Meissen so enticingly
That I had to leave
Surely the fact it was a wedding present
Would ensure
It would remain secure
Like to think within a year
We'll look back on this and laugh
Only problem is it's year
One year on's already what we've had
Accustomed though I am
To diamond-studded ears
Which by the way on men
As it's just in one
look when hung
bent
And so the conversation
With the flying plates continues
In the yellow corner
Flexing all her muscular vim
Throwing overhand or underhand
It makes no odds
Lovely bit of Royal Doulton
Heading for ye Gods
And in the midst of all this carnage
Comes a sobering thought
Most of what has been destroyed
Can never be re-bought
Such a shame now in the morning
As the maid comes in
On her morning stint
Looking on in shock
After taking stock
Of what's around her feet
There's no question of me being asked
How could she be untrue
Last night you gave me the keys to your heart
And I gave mine to you
Call it simple call it the pot
Calling the kettle blue
When you gave your word you'd always be mine
I gave mine to you
Proof of the pudding
Is in the eating
Not any more it's not
Now it boils down to ingredients
Makes no difference how you look
After the night is through
You gave me your love at the end of the day
And I gave mine to you
I gave mine to you
Good days and bad days
Whatever that says
You can't deny it's true
Nothing we do is ever boring
I don't care if the sun don't shine
As long as the clouds are blue
Last night you gave me the shirt off your back
And I gave mine to you
I gave mine to you
I gave mine to you
I get a little bit of lovin in the morning
I get a little bit of lovin at night
I get a little bit of what I want
And when I know it's due
Get a little bit of kissing
And cuddling,
Feeling that I wanna be liked
By you
With a love......true
Never needed anybody who could need me
Never needed anybody to try
Never needed to be certain of that you can be sure
Never needed anybody to hold me
Now I have a feeling I might
Via you
With a love so.....pure
Take this paper in my hand
If you sign it means we stand
Shoulder to shoulder in the days ahead
Even on occasion when the explanation
That I plan on making makes no sense
Didn't know I couldn't do it till, I tried
Didn't know it at the time and at the time
I wasn't there
Didn't know about love and affection
Now it is a feeling I like
From you
A love so...... rare
You could say that we're on cloud nine
But on a clear day it's a waste of time
You could be ringing a freedom bell
In a prison yard where the prison guard
Orders you to march back to your cell
I get a little bit of lovin in the morning
Get a little bit of lovin at night
Get a little bit of what I want if it's not too late
Get a little bit of kissin and cuddling
Felling that I wanna be right
By you
With a love so....great
Hard to know what possesses anyone
After a parent's died
Why tell the world how badly they treated you
Could it not be you lied
Let's not go down that road you read about
Let's keep all we disclose
Between you me and the garden post
One day, rainbows next day hailstorms
Soundtrack to all our lives
What we have here let's be quite clear
Sea-levels on the rise
And as to who we now hope can sort it out
I don't think they've come close
Between you me and the garden post
You can lead a horse to the water's edge
But you cannot force it to drink
Which is not to say if it had a choice
It might prefer to swim
How I hate it when someone corners me
And in a minute flat
I know how much they've earned in a year
And bow many homes they have
Let's not go clown this road to boorishness
Let's keep all we can boast
Between you me and the garden post
If money talks and we know it does
What language does it speak
If you figure is less then you figure must be greek/greed
Always knew you would be my angel
Once you had took me in
Not so in much for being under your spell
More for it being your wing
Let's talk openly of our relationship
Let's keep all we disclose
Between you me and the garden post
Now Parrish was born on a summer's morn
High up on Salisbury plain
His parents were surprised when he opened his eyes
And said how do You do Parrish is my name
He started in school breaking every rule
Violence was his only relief
For someone so small
To burn down the school hall
Was to him an education that just
couldn't be beat
Throughout every, week of every half a year
Throughout every month of every day
At the age of thirteen
When most boys should still be green
His experience with women was to say the least great
The best way to describe him in later life
Is to go back to where it began
While abducting a Nun
He had suddenly become
Converted from a sinner to a
Godfearing man
Throughout every week of every half a year
Throughout every month of every day
If he gets to be Pope
And who's to say he has no hope
There'll be one hell of a party down
Salisbury way
Incredible though it sounds he still astounds
All those who hear him speak
The man they, used to call
The biggest villain of them all
Former child delinquent now a good
Parish Priest
Tell me what's happening to this world
I've just seen pictures of a girl
Lying half-naked in a stream
She was so fall of life
Yet in one moment killed by a knife
Will somebody tell me
What's it all supposed to mean?
Sign on the door says go away
Sign on the grass says you will pay
Dearly if on it you are seen
Ask your neighbour's the time
They'll close their curtains pull down the blinds
Will somebody tell me
What's it all supposed to me?
You can say what you like
About a bike it does ring a bell at least
Why provide cars that break every law we make
Not the least of which is the speed they can exceed
You can say what you like
About goodbyes
They boost tissue sales at least
I don't know anyone whose love has gone
Who does not require a multitude of these
A clip round the ear it must be said
Never hurt anyone instead
Taught you a lesson you'd not seen
And yet do that today
You could so easily be put in jail
Will somebody tell me
What's it all supposed to mean?
I'm lost and all alone what do I do
The girl that I'm in love with says we're through
How can I just let her go
Answers on a postcard please
It seems while I've been doing this and that
She's been carrying an behind my back
Why was I the last to know
Answers on a postcard please
And I don't know what rights if any I have
When it comes to little old me
You can be held for days without even being charged
They call it democracy
I never thought of this happening to us
It happens all the time of course it does
Devil did he play a role
Answers on a postcard please
And I don't know what rights if any I have
When it comes to comes to seeing
Everything you've worked so hard for
All your life
Been smashed to smithereens
I'm lost and like a fool I found my way
Deep inside this dark secluded bay
How'd I get here I don't know
Answers on a postcard please
Everybody needs somebody
You need someone too
If you can't find him and you've looked real hard
Will I will I do
Forget that big hunk pumping iron
He's no good it's true
You need someone whose ribs sticking out
Will I will I do?
If I had the choice not to make a choice
Then what choice is this
If I had your nerve on a windy day
I'd blow you a kiss
We all need someone that we respect
Who we can look up to
If I put shoes on to increase my height
Will I will I do?
If I had to choose between black and white
I would go for green
Is impossible not impossible not if you can dream
I'm not rich like those other types
Go to work by tube
But I'm made in Ireland not Taiwan
Will I will I do?
From the cradle to the grave
From the present to the cave
All we're doing most of our lives
Is for the most part trying to survive
Aspirations all every well
Your degree it looks really swell
Only problem always the same
It's heads their needing and not a brain
welcome to the world of work
You can start by giving
Up the notion that now you are swell
Welcome to the world of work
It's a job and you can take it from me
No guarantee
All your life you dreamt about this
Sole ambition since you were a kid
Now it's happened how does it feel
Dream is over this for real
Sat for hours in front of a screen
mouse will tell you what you are seeing
When you get home how to relax
Another screen for you to look at
Welcome to the world of work
It's a kind of living
Where you give more than you'll ever receive
Welcome to the world of work
Only place a loyal servant can be
kicked in the teeth
Mind your manners mind how you go
Union rep. now does as he's told
One at all out used to mean stop
Now you're frightened of losing your job
Small percentage do as they please
Most if not all have family trees
You can see them scuttling about
Silver teaspoons stuck in their mouth
Welcome to the world of work
Its a place where giving
ls the price you pay for something to eat
Welcome to the world of work
It's where surplus to requirements could be
You they don't need
Welcome to the world of work
It's a nice beginning
Followed shortly by a coffee or tea
Welcome to the world of work
After which you will be run off your feet
Trying to compete
All songs written by Gilbert O'Sullivan
Published by Watanabe Music Publishing Ltd. / Grand Upright Music Ltd.
